Batman:Arkham Knight PC Issues

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Right, one thing that is pissing me off over this situation is not actually the game itself
or it’s issues.

It’s the rabid fanboyism ( that a word? – Ed ) of some of the so called PC master race.
It’s the smug smug sense of self entitlement of those portion of gamers that consider
themselves more enlightened and more of an authority on all thing digital than the rest of us.

It’s not even funny.
It’s like they’ve been personally wronged due to a shitty console port.
Read the key words there children, a CONSOLE PORT.
This game was made for consoles and runs fine on them.
They fucked the PC port, get over it.

Now, I’m not defending a shitty port.
Lazy ports do my head in.
If you’re gonna do a port, do it right.
Don’t just shoe horn it into the PC, change the control text and release it into the wild.

Make sure the game doesn’t crash to desktop for no reason.
Take the FPS limiter off.
Tweak the asset loading methods.
Basically, make sure the fucking thing works on a PC!

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Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that some people are pissed
off that the game wasn’t made for them on their system and they are
raging that their version is second best.
The self entitlement wont let them accept that this game was not made
with the master race in mind so they blame and attack consoles.

I made an innocuous post on a facebook page.
The title was “use coupon blahblahblah for 40% off Arkham Knight”.
I posted ” use coupon blahblahblah for 40% off Arkham Knigh’s frame rate. Fixed that for you.”
I was immediately, hilariously attacked.
I was told that “do a bit of research instead of complaining and the game will run fine on PC.”

Obviously I was immediately taken as a console fanboy taking delight in a shite PC port to which I replied.
“That was a joke but for the record I have uncapped the FPS in the ini file, tweaked the gfx settings and updated my graphics drivers. It still runs shit on my monster rig.”.
That was met with silence lol.

You see, I am a PC gamer.
I am also a console gamer.
I guess I’m Bi-Gameual lol.
That’s why I’m in the position to give an honest opinion.

Now to wrap up.
The game is actually Fab.
I now have it running at a decent level and wow it grappling around Gotham fun.

Also, this is not an attack on PC gamers.
Most are fine.
None of my friends, of whom most are pc gamers exude such contempt and ignorance.
It’s mainly internet fannies who are up their own arses and can’t see past their hardons because they own a fucking pc!

Cave Story+

 

The + symbol, signifying something extra but ultimately not enough for a revisit to someone who has already traipsed through this shooting spelunker.  It’s like getting fixed at the end of the night with someone and you’ve offered each other a 2nd booty call the following weekend with a little extra cherry on the top.  Is it worth it? Can you capture the original evening and retain its essence?  Well, I don’t know – I’m a Cave Story virgin.  The original was in my “to keep and try” folder, but time escaped me and I never got round to having a go.

Metroidvania is the buzz word often used to describe Cave Story.  I personally think a tag like that can be off-putting. Cave Story is far more accessible than most of its peers within this NESesque genre. It has less backpedalling (albeit some), it has less “where the fuck to I go now?” moments, and has a perfect balance of platforming and shooting.  May other Metroidvania games are more like Turrican’s take on the genre.  Not that that’s a bad thing, I just love my platforming games.  As Scotty mentioned on the sites mission statement, I benchmark everything against Manic Miner in terms of platforming greatness.  A genre of game that I cannot get enough of.

 

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So, is Cave Story+ any good?  Damn righting it is!. I can’t praise the game enough; its tight mechanics and lovely exploratory world and genuine ambience provided me with some of the best enjoyment that I’ve had with gaming in years.  The caveat in this game though is surviving the plot and all the needless dialogue.  I don’t mind some dialogue in games like this, but I prefer it to be much more concise. Being a family man, my gaming time is extremely limited and I don’t want any game to go Metal Gear on my ass and I’m burdened with a fucking soporific plot. We never got screeds of dialogue back in the ZX Spectrum days. There was enough to give reasonable ambiguity of a plot and my mind filled in the blanks.  I don’t want my platform gaming experience handheld by what I can only describe as downtime.

 

That aside, I’ve had great fun…. in fact, absolutely brilliant fun playing this.  The blend of power ups for the weapons, not too infuriating bosses and good a progressive difficulty curve make the recipe for a brilliant experience. One of which I’ll be recommending and praising for many years to come.

Dreaming Sarah

Dreaming Sarah is a nice little platform adventure game.

You are Sarah who is in a coma and is dreaming of various locations from the normal to the totally surreal.
You awake in a field and are sent on your merry way.
There are no obvious pointers of where to go or what to do next.

Now sometimes, this can be a real problem but not here.
The game is small and you never truly get stuck.
For example, at the start, there is an uncross-able gap to the right so, you go left!
You find a brolly that lets you glide over gaps and that’s how one progresses.
Find a toy, access the new area with said toy to find more toys!

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The game can be sprinted through in about half an hour but you are going to want to take your time exploring every area as the lovely pixel art combined with the atmospheric music makes for a nice relaxing gaming experience.

On your travels you will fly to space, traverse the innards of a grand father clock, buy alcohol with a fake id and make a tonsil inside a giant mouth sick!

If this was generic forest/castle areas all the way through, I get the feeling this would have felt like a chore but the diversity of locations held my interest.

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While I really enjoyed the game, there were a couple of negatives.
The puzzles were rather arbitrary with a bit of random object x used in location y with no real link or context.
I did find myself after getting a new object, running back round all the locations to see if it done anything.
Not all the puzzles were like that.
Indeed some were decent logical puzzles where you knew exactly where to go next but some were just random.
To it’s credit, these are mostly for secrets and achievements.

The other issue is that the game can be quite buggy.
Several times I found hovering off the ground unable to move.
I also found my controls locked out after speaking to an NPC.
Clearly the controls were meant to reinstate after the conversation was over but I had to quit and re load my save.
Not good.

Despite the niggles however, I would recommend this, especially as it’s a budget game.
For the few quid it cost, I feel satisfied I got my money’s worth!

Manic Miner : One platformer to ruler them all!

Lets start off on a good note with Manic Miner because if there’s one thing these crabbit auld bastards can still remember fondly, it’s Manic Miner!

A game as simple as they come.
You guide Miner Willy through 20 caverns of platforming goodness with left, right and jump controls.
Collect the items, avoid baddies and falls, get to the exit. ( Choppa? – Ed )
Easy, right?

Ehhh, not so much!

The beauty of this game, like so many of the era is it’s unapologetic difficulty.
Sure it eases you in with a few easy wins to get you hooked but it’s not long before it’s demanding some pretty precise platform skills.
We’re talking pixels here.

Central

You start in the central cavern which is actually harder than the second screen, the cold room.
This was due to creator Matt Smith using the central cavern as an engine test to test jumping distances etc.
Still not difficult but that’s why it’s a little more difficult than the second screen.
There, a wee bit of trivia for you!

By the time you get to even screen 3, it gets a little trickier.
It will take you several tries to beat the birds up on the top crumbling platforms while you learn their movement patterns.
By the time you get to screen 5, the infamous Eugene’s Lair, the timing required and jumping proficiency required really starts to ramp up.
The “Pac Man” level on screen 6 was like kryptonite to me for long enough!

Eugene

Manic Miner is a deeply rewarding game and considered by many as the dawn of the platform game.
Sure there were others before it but this is the one that made the “Spectrum Generation” sit up and take note.
The one that made you go looking for more platform games.

Unlike today’s nanny state games where you are constantly prompted what to do, provided assistance when you encounter difficulties and have basically no negative consequences for failure.
Manic Miner doesn’t let you see it’s deepest levels without a fight.
It gives you 3 tries and if you lose them all on the first screen, tough! It’s back to the start for you.
If you are crap, you will fail. Simple.

It is however not unfair.
Practice will yield progress and with that, immense satisfaction not unlike finally beating a boss in Dark Souls.
Granted a lot of you may not get that reference but the chances are, if you are reading a computer game review site then you probably know what dark souls is.

Manic Miner is now the ripe old age of 32 and still very playable to this day.
Sure a lot of younger gamers will be like, “Oh em geeee, WTF Lolz! What’s this shit?” but that just means their mums and dads have failed as parents. 😉